she would certainly understand if I didn't attend a memorial service. But she didn't! We are not that close, I met her brother once in 15 years, we live @ an hour apart, and I have M.S.; I was not feeling up to it and wasn't sure how to get there; so since she had said on her VM that she would understand if I couldn't make it, I naturally took her at her word. I sent cards right away to her and her family. She has not attended a funeral in my family, as there hasn't been one. Later, she emailed me that she had not been in touch with me because she was hurt that I "chose not to attend". I was confused, and actually grovelled in an apology. Now she is in trouch only on rare occasion, and it seems to have affected the whole friendship. She is unapproachable and very cool and distant. Do you think I should have done something else?